Romulus ([info]romulusnr) wrote,
@ 2008-06-06 21:54:00
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From Me To You Day
We need a new gift-giving holiday.

Every gift-giving holiday is centered on giving people what they want. You feed their whims and desires by satisfying one or more of them. The idea is to make them happy, despite whether or not what they want is necessarily good for them.

We need a day where you give people something that shares something *you* like, or something you think they should have.

See, I would love to do things like send copies of Inconvenient Truth or Sicko or a season of 30 Days or a copy of The God Delusion. Thing is, the people I would like to send these to -- not so much that I want to convert them as to understand what I believe -- wouldn't want them. So, it's unsuitable as a gift for any existing holiday.

Of course, parents do sometimes give their kids gifts they think they should have (hopefully in addition to the things they want), in an attempt to expose them to a positive influence (i.e., an influence the parents think is positive).

I'd like to do that to some of my family. But doing it on birthdays, parent's days, and Xmas comes off as pretentious and rude.

So instead, we should have a "Share Yourself" day, where you gift people you love things that reflect who you are -- instead of who they are. Or rather, and here's an interesting point, who you *think* they are. Wouldn't it be nice to know, in a non-off-putting way, that your grandson is vegetarian and might not appreciate you donating a cow to an Indonesian village in their name (granted, maybe that was for milk)? Or that your grandson is atheist, and doesn't really enjoy all those religious Chicken Soup stories you've been forwarding him? Etc.? Wouldn't it be a great way to know others better, instead of maintaining and perpetuating your misconceptions because they don't know exactly a nice way to tell you how off base you are about them?

So. Share Yourself Day. Send your loved ones a gift that reflects yourself instead of your impression of them. All that's needed now is a day....



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[info]natowelch
2008-06-07 06:51 pm UTC (link)
I call that Burning Man.

It's not so much a holiday as a community, and the gifts are intended to be created, rather than bought, but the spirit of what your saying is in that "gift economy".

http://www.burningman.com/whatisburningman/about_burningman/principles.html

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[info]romulusnr
2008-06-07 08:22 pm UTC (link)
Uh, but, even if I went to Burning Man, the people I would want to gift in this way to would not.

Which would partially probably also indicate the reason behind the desire to gift them in this way.

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[info]nomadraven
2008-06-07 08:56 pm UTC (link)
Just give it to them! There doesn't need to be a day... maybe put a post-it note on top saying "I wanted to share this with you because..." and send it off. That's basically what they do!

Then again, you don't appreciate them sharing things with you, so why do you think they'd appreciate you sharing things with them? You expect their minds to be open when yours isn't?

Live and let live, I say.

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[info]romulusnr
2008-06-07 11:37 pm UTC (link)
Part of why I don't appreciate it is because it is done presumptuously, under the belief that I am on board with it, as opposed to something they are sharing with me to tell me about themselves.

To be fair, I never really "came out" as atheist to any of my grandparents, and I never made a big stand about it to anyone anyway. Perhaps they think it was just a high school phase and I grew out of it, or was really just anti-Catholic and not anti-Godism and ended up finding a non-Catholic Godism that I could be happy with.

And maybe they don't know I'm a bleeding heart progressive who voted Nader in 2000, etc. I don't talk about it. I know their leanings, because they expose me to them as a matter of course, and I think it's because they think I'm amenable to them.

I've never found it easy to be a wet blanket on my parents or grandparents by vocally opposing what they say that I don't agree with... it sort of has a chilling effect on Thanksgiving Dinner, etc.

Which is why I think there needs to be a nice socially acceptable way to say "Hey, here's something I am interested in or believe and would like you to know about it" without engaging in the presumptuousness that I'm subjected to.

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